Default Self, Default Body

I’ve been on a big binge since I returned from Geneen Roth’s residential retreat last week. I’m bingeing on self-observation, doing deep inquiry into the very archaic patterns I slide into so easily when I’m not paying attention. The one I created when I was almost too young to remember.

My default self has a life of its own. One of the biggest defaults I experience is believing that I made a mistake when I’m confronted with unexpected events. Yesterday I got through half a session with a client who called on the wrong day because I assumed I’d made the mistake. I recovered with time enough to (barely) make it to my strength conditioning class, which was originally on my schedule. Missing this would have been staying with my default body.

I’ll be continuing the call today at the time it was originally scheduled. In the meantime there’s more food for my binge of self-observations.

The most powerful question I’m sitting with is this: how does my default self create a default body? I think I know some of the answers, but I’m beginning to think this is a question to live into. And as I look more deeply I can see how my “default body,” the one I create when I go unconscious in my life (and eating is a part of life), is also creating a default self. It’s a know of infinity!

2 Responses to “Default Self, Default Body”

  1. Amy Johnson

    Susan Grace,
    The idea of looking at our default self is so important and so obvious, yet so easy to NOT do. Our minds are always creating…we can become aware of our default self and create on purpose, or we can just let the program run in the background and get what we get.
    Love this idea and beautifully stated!
    Amy

    Reply
  2. Deborah Penner

    Default self. What a kind way to refer to the habituated part of ourself that prefers the comfort of the known ~~~ my default body ~~~ I wonder ~~~ is it the body that is habituated to pain or is it the default self ~~~ I suspect the body would thrive with new habits that are about pleasure, ease, alert relaxation ~~~ worthy of deeper inquiry, thank you ~~~

    Loving this process~~~~~

    Deborah

    Reply

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