Today I awoke with the scenes from Groundhog’s Day (the Movie) dancing through my head. Not a big surprise. Just when when my mind is seeming a a little more peaceful and this body is feeling stronger as a result of focusing on in intention in the new year, I get a Change Back Attack. This is personal growth malady that usually includes certain symptoms: fogging out when eating, dropping exercise from my list for four days. It’s usually caused by believing the old loops of thought that drove me to make resolutions in the first place. Then, instead of a sacred spiral, my path begins to look suspiciously like a Figure Eight.
Since it’s a sort of holiday, I’ve decided this is the day to wake myself up from the movie.
The day we call Groundhog’s Day is precariously balanced precisely between the shortest and longest days of year of the year (Solstice) and the Spring Equinox, and beginning to tilt toward light. It’s known as Candlemas on church calendars. I used to celebrate it a bit like the Celts did (except they called it Imbolc).
It was a time of Spring Cleaning for them, and it’s become one for me. They cleaned their sacred objects and left them out overnight to be blessed by the magical Bridget. A pretty good idea, to start with.
And for me today there’s a desire for a deep cleaning treatment. I think I’ll start by catching one of many of the assumptions I’m making that keep me stuck in the same old loop-de-loop. Thoughts like this is too hard.
Yup. That’s a good one. With that belief along my steps lead me back into the same old loop. But when I look closer, I see that belief for what it is: instead of a greasy stain, it’s more like the spider webs in the corner or the dust bunnies under the bed. By looking at it straight on, I find out where I’m getting hooked and find something a little truer and a lot kinder.
It’s too hard. Am I sure? What do it do when I believe that it’s too hard?
Easy answer: I bail. I forget. I fog out.
I keep going, finding out how I treat myself when I believe it’s too hard, watching what I do, which turn I take that puts me back in the loop. What I miss, then, is whole lot. When I look closer, I realize that it’s not too hard. It’s just right. In fact, it is hard to change an engrained behavior. But when I accept this, I can give myself more attention, more focus, I can wake up about the decisions I make. I can also see the success I’ve already had shifting the loop.
At this point I’m feeling pretty darn good about this change-y thingee. I’m feeling some hope, too. This is the deepest kind of spring cleaning. This wakes me up from the movie and shows me a new way.
How about you? What dust bunnies are under your bed? What unexamined beliefs are behind the loops you sometimes find yourself walking? What do you notice?