I’m reminded this morning of one of Byron Katie’s oft-repeated phrases:
“Personalities don’t love. They want something.”
I’ve been looking at my need for approval and appreciation this month, and this is the refrain that keeps showing up in my mind. When mind is quiet, I’m just simple and present. There’s a space for love to show up, and I love sharing that.
When my “personality” (my social self) runs the show, I do want something. I want others to do what I want them to do so that I can have what I want. Often I just want everyone to be happy and then I’ll be able to have peace. So I go into their business and try to figure out what they want. I try to please, to charm, to manipulate. All in the name of peace.
Reality is that I can find that peace without them when I’m not believing I need them for anything, even to like, approve or appreciate me. And what I notice is that “they” like to be around this one. The one that doesn’t want.