This cry resonated in the ballroom on New Year’s Eve, where I was attending the Mental Cleanse, a five-day event with Byron Katie. The event is an annual Love Fest where participants spend the last days of the old year challenging the beliefs that imprison them and taking off the chains, one thought at a time. As always, Katie was unconditionally loving with every person and thought she invited into her “parlor.” And we’re always invited, each moment, to finish the past and begin again, in a new now.
Over the week I noticed all the beliefs I had been acting out in my life that were no longer relevant and had caused harm to myself and to others. Decisions about what to do in 2009 just kept making me as I watched others undo their own painful beliefs and questioned my own. A very different way to make New Year’s resolutions, from a place of what is truer and kinder for my world. I’ll be continuing to explore what this looks like in future blogs, I’m sure. I just find I want to share as much as I can about my own work with anyone who’s interested.
On New Year’s eve there’s a No-Talent show where participants challenge themselves to do things that would bring up fears and beliefs. This year was my first year to take the stage, and I shared a couple of poems I’d written about what happens when you question thoughts. Now you should know that I’m a closeted poetry writer who has never (and I mean never) shared my work. This It was scarey. I watched my mind compare myself to the person before, convinced I could never be as funny or perfect for the occasion. And when I read what I’d written in front of 300 people about half of what I was on stage was me. The other was a totally freaked out lizard, victim of the reptilian Flight or Fight brain. Afterward the applause (and one person even cheered!), I was still pretty scared. It was after that biochemical cocktail of limbic wore off that I felt freer, more open to whatever is next. To whatever that scares me. A new year. A new Now.
