July 2009 - Oasis Life Design

On my bedside table there’s a brass anchor and a candle. It serves as a reminder of my need for stabilizing as I question and learn and grow. A reminder of those things that hold me to the earth and bring me back to myself and the present moment when my mind begins to wander, as it has a habit of doing. Here’s a quick list: my dog, a warm shower and clean clothes, sitting quietly in the morning, deep and sustaining breaths, holding hands with my husband, and a dear friend’s face. The more I look for examples, the more I find. And it begins to look a whole lot like a list of gratitude.

What’s on your list? What brings your mind back to what’s important? Find out. And let the list grow.

Again I’ve returned to my garden oasis to name and count the pearls from my last adventure, a trip to the first-ever Martha Beck Coach’s convention, where the keynote speaker was Byron Katie. I hold both these women in high esteem, so this was an indescribably inspiring and enlightening experience for me, personally.

But one of the most moving things about the experience was in-person, 3-D connecting with people who I had only known through teleconferencing, or e-mail, or personal coaching by phone. There’s a powerful intimacy of getting to know a client from a distance, by phone and email. So actually getting to see, to hug, to talk to people who I had already felt that I knew so well was a powerful experience. I was amazed at how the physical body of the “essential self” I had come to know enhanced the connection I felt with them.

I was blessed to touch and to be touched by this, one of my tribes. I’ve had many tribes in my life of community. I feel deeply connected to my family, my town, my friends from throughout my life. All of whom I met in the “real world” of being in the same place at the same time. But this was a totally different experience.

As I follow the bread crumbs to my life here, I want to leave a trail back to that tribe, to remember and honor the other tribes in my life. So once again a return in my journal to my list. Join me.

List the tribes you belong to. Be specific and thorough. Don’t leave out the Farmer’s Market or your yoga class.

Which group would you like to nurture? Which would you like to see die a natural death?
How would you like to deepen the connection with the groups that are left? Make a list. You can initiate anything you like.

What would get in your way? Make a list of the thoughts and begin to question them.
Would you like to invite someone to coffee? Who? Allow the faces or names to arrive. Choose one and reach out. Next week do the same. Create your tribe.

Nurture it frequently. How will you sustain connection? Facebook , a card, a walk or a phone call? Again, your choice.

Create your tribe, touch and be touched by it. A great and radical kindness for you and for all of us here on the planet.