I love a good fight. Whether I’m “fighting traffic, fighting the Battle of the Bulge, or having a disagreement (aka “fight”) with my husband, I know that somewhere in there is my “prescription for happiness,” as Byron Katie describes what happens when you turn a painful belief around and discover what’s there that you might have been missing.
He should be more sensitive? Once I can really see how that deep belief causes suffering in my life, really close-up and personal, the little slights and unkindness it creates, I’m more than ready to let go.
Then I turn it around. My very own prescription for life. Be more sensitive. To him. If it’s so easy for him, why don’t I try it? But just seeing the truth of that can feel unkind, if I’m judging myself for NOT being sensitive. So I wouldn’t stop there. That might cheat me of my own specific prescription. Where might I show more sensitivity to him? By being a better listener or not complaining when he leaves the car less than pristine or doesn’t clean up the dishes on my schedule? Just thinkin’…it could make my life better to allow and accept what is.
I should be more sensitive to me. Absolutely. I want to gift myself with my own precise inner directions for happiness. Where (specifically) do I need to be more sensitive to me? When I ask myself that question, the old world crumbles. The world where I browbeat myself, push myself to work harder or move faster than seems natural and kind. How would it look this week if I live that Turn Around?
Bingo. My prescription for happiness. I imagine stopping when I get in my car and taking three deep breaths. Taking a ten minute walk between clients. Stepping out the door to see the moon or breathe the night air. And, most important, asking that little dictator that tells me I have to push harder.
My prescription for happiness and for living in a kinder world.