The Cost of Dodging Disapproval

I’m noticing another aspect of my approval-seeking habits. My inner Disapproval Dodger may even be more powerful than my Approval Junkie. Hard to admit.

I got started people pleasing early in life. About the same time I decided I needed their approval, I also figured out I REALLY wanted to avoid their disapproval. (What kid doesn’t?)

It’s a pretty outdated strategy when you’re a grown-up, but it still persists. For most of my life I haven’t even known what I want until I figure out what THEY want. And sometimes it’s still hard to break that habit.

When do you ignore your “authentic yes” to your inner direction to avoid displeasing someone else?

How do you know it would even displease them? Some juicy questions. What do you notice?

One Response to “The Cost of Dodging Disapproval”

  1. Amy

    Hi Susan,
    I am loving your posts! I never thought about my inner disapproval dodger. Isn’t it funny how approval junkies think we know how to read people so well? I used to pride myself on being able to do that but now I find it is really just a make believe skill that comes after many years of approval seeking. One of the most important things I’ve learned is that we can never really know what someone else is thinking. I got very good at guessing though and convincing myself it was the truth. There is a lot of freedom in letting go of the belief that I can “read” people.


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