Monthly Archives: March 2010

The Cost of Dodging Disapproval

in Approval, Radical Kindness

I’m noticing another aspect of my approval-seeking habits. My inner Disapproval Dodger may even be more powerful than my Approval Junkie. Hard to admit.
I got started people pleasing early in life. About the same time I decided I needed their approval, I also figured out I REALLY wanted to avoid their disapproval. (What kid doesn’t?)

Bottom Line Book Club

in Radical Kindness

Imagine if there was a way that you could take the masses of personal development books out there and apply a filter that extracts not just the best books, but the 20% that’s the highest-leverage ideas and change-tools that the top coaches use…and get step-by-step coaching on how to actually use those tools…so you can focus on only the stuff that really makes a difference and start getting the results you want now…

That’s exactly what the Bottom-line Bookclub does for you…

Refreshing Your Screen

in Getting Unstuck, Radical Kindness

One important thing I learned about cyberland is that you have to refresh the screen when you return to a site you’ve visited before. This allows you to see changes that have occurred while you’ve been doing other stuff.
The same is true for the process of change. If I don’t refresh, I run the same old loops, have the illusion of being stuck. For me, refreshing the screen means pausing, checking in, noticing that things aren’t the same. How could they be? It’s simply not possible.

Always We Begin Again

in Getting Unstuck, Radical Kindness

These are the opening words from the Rule of St. Benedict. I’m not a Catholic, but I owe so much peace and clarity to my training in spiritual direction with the sisters of a nearby monastery. These words continue to remind me, each morning, of possibility.
Especially when I’ve fallen off the wagon filled with my best intentions the night before. It hardly matters what I did, but let’s just say I let myself down when I unconsciously ate half a bag of chips at midnight. In the past this kind of thing has given me enough proof of hopelessness to pull me off the wagon for good, a rebellious child running wildly amok, with no regard for the future.